Not a New Years Resolution but maybe midlife crisis

Yep, here I go again.  A woman kinda ADD typing away listening to Michael Buble and suddenly I think, before my time comes I need to make a difference, make something of myself.  Then I think, what if you have made a difference but you just don't know it.  Well I want to know, then I start thinking about singing or writing music again.  lol Then I think, post to your blog.  Logical to me.....now I'm hearing the Logical Song in my head.  Oh this is going to be a day... More coffee please. 

By nature, I'm an artistic person but life has dictated that I get a left brained job.  I soo long for the right brained job.  Of course I sometimes have visions of me writing or creating something in a home office that over looks a garden on a nice spring day.  Perhaps that's what my goal should be, to create that place. lol

My Wish

My Wishlist.

Long story short, I want this for 2013.  It's a Jeep Grand Cherokee Overland.  Haven't decided what interior color I want because originally I wanted the light frost but I liked the black as well.

The problem I have with the light interior is that so far I can't find that car with Silver exterior only White and I prefer Silver or Maximum Steel.

I'll keep you posted on this adventure.  I'll take the Overland or the Limited.  

Merry Christmas to me?......maybe not this Christmas.

Interesting where life can take you

I attended the funeral of the mother of my ex, with whom I share a child with.  I guess you could say he was my first love.  Anyway, she was a wonderful woman who I was very fond of.  She had a strong spirit and was a strong woman.  I only wished that I could have seen her prior to her leaving this life to say, "Thank you" personally.  I was a little uneasy about doing so, I guess out of fear of who I would run into.  Not so much my ex but his other ex.  Isn't that funny, all the mucky muck was so many years ago but yet it almost seemed like it was yesterday.  There was a time where I think I actually hated him. I was not perfect in this relationship and it definitely took two but I was terribly hurt.  When I was told that his mother had passed, I just didn't care about his feelings so much.  I mean I had already decided that I would attend her funeral and not even knowing if he would want me there.  I also thought, if I go, the other ex could be there....and oh boy, not sure I'm up for that.  Although, I reminded myself that it wasn't about them, it was about a wonderful lady who was very kind to me and thus I should pay my respects.  So I would go, but I told myself that I would sit in back, and be a fly on the wall.  Of course my son was going but I would sit in back.

I arrived, early, really early and it was going to be a graveside service. I beat everyone including Mom, so I was able to sit in my car and let my mind wonder and worry, "Will my ex not want me here, do I shake his hand or give him a hug, what about the other ex?"  I'll stay in back as I don't want to be a burden on anyone. Mom arrived, and then came her son, and later came the children, the other ex was not there.  I got out and my ex approached me, gave me a rose for his mother, hugged me and thanked me for coming.  Hmm, didn't expect that.

It was a very nice ceremony and I'm glad I went.  It was much better than I had expected and I have no regrets.  The interesting thing was, that after all these years, it just didn't matter anymore why we were no longer together or who did what to who, we are who we are because of the things we've done, experienced, the good and the bad.  All that mattered to me, was this was a family with whom played a major role in my life.  I was thankful and walked away forgiving.  Thanks Jean, was this what you wanted me to come away with?  I think so, so once again, thank you for all you've done for me.  

Parking Wars

So I'm watching Parking Wars because apparently I don't have enough stress in my life...there is this woman who lives in a housing complex that is parking by permit only.  So this lady flips out because she says she only parked there for 5 minutes.  She goes after the two guys who are trying to tow her car.  Her theory is that she has lived there for 10 years and didn't know she had to have a permit, and then she was only there for a few moments.  She got all in these guys faces but by the time the cops got there she started calming down.

The next guy parked in a handicap spot with the same similar excuse, "I was just there for a moment".  Really people, follow the rules and life is simpler.  I will say this, I have to give the people in this industry kudos, because I sure the hell couldn't do this job, well I could do it but I wouldn't want to.

Now some guy is calling the worker evil because he gave him a ticket.  Well, I can only watch this show for a bit before I start feeling my stress level rise.  Until next time.

Introduction

So here I thought I would post my rants, thoughts and my opinions.  Now I know my opinions may not be your opinions, but these are mine.  Some days may seem dark and perhaps a bit angry and some days light, happy and friendly.  No I am not bipolar but as I age my tolerance for stupidity lessens.  I used to wonder why some older people seem so blunt when asked questions or when making statements....I now know why.  I believe that as we get older we no longer wish to play the silly games that we play to make nice.  For instance, you get the call early in the morning and the person on the other line says, "did I wake you?", a lot of us say (knee jerkily (if that's a word)), no I was up.  I used to be one of those people, now I say, "yes....".  I also learned something else, just because someone calls you on the phone or knocks on your door, you are not obligated to answer.  I think a lot of us feel compelled to do so.  Not me, not anymore.

Welcome to my blog and on the journey throughout my world.  It may not always be pretty, but it's all I got.....put your seat-belt on, this ride could get bumpy.